


Love Me, Trust Me

by forgetful01



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-13
Updated: 2012-03-13
Packaged: 2017-11-01 21:50:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/361647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgetful01/pseuds/forgetful01
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Gamzee and Karkat have switched quadrants and are now matespirits, though for some reason despite accepting Karkat’s red feelings for him, he doesn’t seem interested in the more physical aspect of their relationship, which obviously upset Karkat with his inferiority complex since he thinks it’s because Gamzee doesn’t think he good enough.</p>
<p>When it’s finally pried off, it turns out that Gamzee’s feeling weird about an unnatural concern about their future wigglers and if they’ll be taken care of by negligent lusus like he was.</p>
<p>Fluff me up, anon~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Done for the anon and for Synne! Thanks for showing me the prompts you wanted done, I hope you both enjoy it</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Me, Trust Me

It was in the heat of one of his most sexually exciting moments of his entire life, that Karkat realized exactly what he was getting into with changing his quadrants with Gamzee.

To be honest, he hadn't even meant to change it. It just sort of happened. Well, it had more than 'just happened.' It was shortly after the humans had arrived on this godforsaken rock and Gamzee stayed closer to Karkat than he had done previously. And really, that was no big deal at first. Until Karkat started hoping that the Capricorn would show up unannounced as usual at his block sooner than the day before, started hoping he would maybe even drop by twice or three times, started hoping that his elongated fingers just might brush up against his own…

And that's when he fully came to understand just what his quadrants had done. He was still protective over Gamzee, but it wasn't as pale as it had once been. He wanted to protect Gamzee with love, not friendship, wanted to hold him close out of intimacy rather than comfort, wanted all of these things and no way to achieve them. And as usual, it was the more relaxed of the two trolls that instigated the change.

No preliminaries, no awkward fumbling, just one day Karkat was in midsentence of some rant, Gamzee pressed his lips to Karkat's like it was the most natural thing in the world. And it took the Cancer a total of three seconds to press back into the kiss. So that's how it started. Gamzee's breathless giggling and Karkat's almost muted purring at the attention that the taller troll would give to him with an intensity bordering on the religious.

And that's all it was for a decent amount of time. Just sloppy makeouts and a copious amount of cuddling afterwards. But then it shifted. The kissing turned less excited and more lazy and slow, much like Gamzee himself. And no matter how many times Karkat would try to reengage the fire that was there before, the Capricorn just acted flat out uninterested. Like the physical aspect, or going further, was nothing to him. And immediately Karkat took that personally.

"Why would he want to do something like that with you?" He growled at his reflection, gnashing his sharp teeth in a horrible expression. "You think you're good enough?" He demanded of himself. "Well you're not. Why the fuck would you be good enough?" The expression stayed and he slammed his mirror down to hide his glaring and accusing eyes from himself.

Why would he ever be good enough?

But as he sat on the edge of his desk, a new thought came to him. Something that hadn't even crossed his mind before, something that knocked the wind out of him and made his chest feel like it had been hollowed out and caved inwards. What if Gamzee didn't think he was good enough?

Later that day when Gamzee came to visit him, Karkat kept his distance. Didn't almost smile quite so much, didn't respond as he would have before, and kept his knees close to his chest. Gamzee of course asked what was wrong, and after the third time Karkat finally jumped on top of him. He had to find out why he wasn't good enough. He had to find out why Gamzee didn't want to go further, especially since it was with him.

"W-wait, Karbro, what're you-"

"Shut up." Karkat snapped before roughly kissing him, using his weight to push the other troll down onto the floor, his own hands roaming and touching as much of the warm skin as he could. Gamzee didn't protest, that is, until he felt Karkat tugging impatiently at the waistband of his baggy spotted pants.

"Karkat- fuck, wait, please-"

Karkat finally looked up, frustrated beyond believe and finally he snapped, "Why. Why don't you want to go further? Is it something that I did?"

"No Karbro just let me explain.."

"What, am I really not good enough? Why aren't I good enough? It's my blood isn't it? It's mutant, it's disgusting, that's why you don't want to."

"Karbro please it's not like that."

"Then what?" He finally snapped, sitting up and shoving himself off of Gamzee to sit back and glare at him. "What is it?"

"It's the wrigglers." Gamzee blurted out, his eyes dropped to the floor, ears curled down in shame and guilt. "It's the fucking wrigglers, okay? It ain't you, it's never been you, I love every single motherfucking thing about you. I love how your nose wrinkles up when you're mad," Karkat subconsciously relaxed his face, "I love how much you try not to laugh until you can't help it anymore, I love everything about you." Gamzee finally got closer, looking at his Matesprit pleadingly now. "You have to believe me, Karbro. I swear it isn't you."

"Then why worry about some wrigglers?" Karkat asked instead, ignoring the red tinting the tips of his ears in flushed embarrassment over Gamzee's confession.

The clown sighed and scratched at the back of his head, trying to find the right words. "What if…what if the little motherfuckers are raised by a lusus like mine? Never being there? Always left alone? Never feeling…like they deserved a good lusus like all their friends…" Karkat felt his shoulders relax and Gamzee looked back up to him like he was expecting some kind of lecture.

Instead the Cancer let out a noise that was like a relieved laugh and pulled Gamzee closer, who honked in surprise. "You really are an idiot, you know that right?" The other just smiled and hugged him in return. "We can worry about that stuff when we get a little further into this confusing redrom bullshit. Get it?"

"Got it." Gamzee laughed.

"Good. Come on; let's go make sure the other idiots aren't killing each other." Karkat got to his feet and held a hand out to Gamzee, who accepted it. And as they walked out of the block and headed back to the center of the Veil, Karkat couldn't help but smile at the way Gamzee was holding his hand like it was the only thing in the world he had ever wanted to do.


End file.
